A couple of days ago, I woke up and looked down at my phone and checked my news feed and all of the headlines were about how 45 had tested positive for COVID-19. There is absolutely a dark part of my soul which is deeply satisfied by that outcome, and wholeheartedly appreciates the irony there.

A couple of days before that, I woke up and looked down at my phone and checked my news feed, and all of the headlines were focused on 45’s behavior at the presidential debate. About how he outright refused to condemn white supremacy. About whatever in hell’s name that was.

A couple of days before a couple of days before that, I woke up and looked down at my phone and checked my news feed, and all of the headlines were about how 45 has paid less money in income taxes than literally every other adult who has ever taken capitalism seriously. That parameter probably neatly excludes all of the rich ones.

Weirdly, this post is not about how disgusting 45 is. We already knew this. We have known this for a long time. This is not new information. Currently, I’m just incredibly done with how much attention this excruciatingly toxic human being is receiving on an almost daily basis.

Like, yes. To a point, precisely because of this enormous scope of power that he has somehow fucking managed to end up with, it is important to keep one eye on this trainwreck. A trainwreck of this scale can throw shrapnel that effects too much of the world.

And yes it would be lovely if the public attention that is being spent on 45 could help to hold him accountable for the things that he does that are wrong. It would be lovely if it managed to shift the vote just enough to sway the election. That would be a beautiful outcome.

But right now, it just feels like the entire universe is watching this trainwreck in a kind of horrified fascination and can’t bring itself to look away. If attention was some kind of currency, if fame without any particular connotation one way or the other was like an energy source for this man, he would be so fucking set. And in a sick way, I think maybe he is.

I wonder what would happen if a fraction of that universal energy and focus was transferred to something worthwhile, something constructive. I know that it would free up space in my own head and heart, on a daily basis. Imagine multiplying that free space across millions of people, across days and weeks and years.

I know we can’t ignore Donald Trump completely.

I just think there are so many other names that are worth saying more than his. I think there are at least 209,000 COVID-19 victims who were not nameless, and should have had access to the level of care that he’s currently receiving. I think there are countless victims of systemic racism and climate injustice and lack of housing and Healthcare and a livable wage that were not nameless

whose names deserve to be spoken so much more than his ever will.

Instead of focusing in on so much hate and disgust for one person, I want to be spending my energy building a world where billions of people are going to be okay. Even if I can’t do very much. Even if I have very little to give at all.

Hating him only makes me sick, and only gives him the attention that he wanted.

I want for the last time I see his name to be on the 2020 presidential ballot