Am I loved?
This is all I ever think about.
I’m scared that the answer won’t always be “yes.”
I am also frightened that it will be.
If I am loved
there’s so much to be done
to live up to the honor of being considered good enough –
to treat the ones who love me properly, to not take them for granted, to tell them I am glad that they are here.
I’m afraid that I won’t get this right.
Im afraid that the answer to the question,
“Am I loved?”
was a resounding yes
until I fumbled, because I turned out not to be perfect
and the answer changed.
I want to stop thinking so much about that question:
“Am I loved?”
(stop dwelling on the awful possibility that I’m not – no, nevermind – because I am so, so far away from being perfect)
I want to focus on loving, instead.
Loving, without asking for anything back.
So that when other people ask,
“Am I loved”
The answer will be a resounding “yes,”
Even and especially when they are not perfect.