Why do people smile when they look at me. It’s like – this smirk as if they know something that I don’t know. Why are they doing that. Why. What have I done. Is there something stuck in my teeth. Am I beautiful? Is that it? It cannot be that I am beautiful, I look like – like two elbows. Have I said something wrong. Are they laughing at me. What is going on. Why are they looking at me like that. Please don’t, it’s embarrassing, it’s as if they can read what I am thinking and they think it’s funny but I don’t know why. Christ. Lord help me. What are they laughing about. I cannot possibly fathom what I am doing to provoke this. I expect nothing less in the future than to be constantly bullied as if I am one of the boys and yet people keep loking at me as if I have done something ingraciatingly cute when I really haven’t. Why. What happened. Is it because I made a joke that indicates that I am not a sweet innocent summer child and that’s unexpected because I look like one. Let me be –