I painted my nails with clear nail polish and let them grow out ever so slightly longer than the shorter length I usually maintain because I have been too tired to do maintenance tasks like cut my fingernails. They look kind of pretty. Painted Steve’s nails too, which he let me do because the clear coat doesn’t look particularly incriminating.
Everything hurts right now.
I made a mistake and drank a chai latte with a shot of espresso at like 9pm last night at work. It was so, so good and it got me through the shift. Didn’t sleep a wink or like blink at all for many hours. Ended up in a kind of panicked rumination spiral in the very early morning before sunrise. Steve held me through the worst of this. Wondered what the hell was in that chai mix but honestly my body has a certain way of responding to substances so it could really have just been the stress and sugar and caffeine.
To distract myself I am entertaining a hyperfixation on genealogy. Calling in the grandmothers, one might say.
I am still in an absurd amount of pain.