Like forever ago, I had this massive crush on a childhood friend. I think it must have been one of the first times I ever had a crush on a real actual three dimensional human being, and the entire experience was such a trip. I just thought he was extraordinarily pretty and ridiculously cool, and we honestly had some pretty excellent adventures. We were like ten or eleven at the time.

He was completely clueless about this mess of feelings that I had in his general direction. Which was impressive. I have always thought of myself as really good at hiding how I feel about things, but according to literally everyone else that I know, that is decidedly not true. Which is kind of funny actually.

But yeah, he was totally clueless. He had no idea. He was never going to have any idea. If he’d ever found out, he probably would have thought the whole situation was a bit odd, laughed for a bit, and gone on with his life without giving it a second thought.

That was fine. I would probably have died if I’d thought that he suspected.

Shit was soo much easier back then, man.

I haven’t spoken to this punk in roughly a decade, at this point. Things that feel like they’re going to last forever in life sometimes come unraveled. And even if it hurts for a hot second, maybe in the long run that’s okay.

But we used to hang out on this beautiful wooded property in Western New York. There were trails through the woods. His parents threw parties every summer that lasted for like days at a time. There was a pond with a rusty paddleboat and salamanders and a rope swing. There were pancakes. There were dogs. We played ghost in thr graveyard and capture the flag in the dark. After the adults had started drunk-singing karaoke, we would go inside and play truth or dare. This whole big rambling Italian family would sit around the campfire and talk, and I think we would lay on our backs and look up at the stars.

It was such a good time.

One of the younger Aunts from this big sprawling clan had this partner that she was totally head over heels in love with. His name was Love, which is actually kind of beautiful name, and he was from Africa. These two adored one another completely. He loved his partner’s daughter, and she actually just had his child.

Sad thing happened.

Love just passed away of liver cancer. He was way to young. His partner and his daughter and step daughter have soo much love and support in their lives from so many directions. From his family, from her family, from all of the friends who paddled around the pond and sat around the campfire and told stories. I have a really strong feeling that they’re all going to get one another though it.

But this family of a friend that I haven’t spoken to in roughly ten years is really fucking going through it right now.

Because sometimes the things that feel like they’re going to last forever in this life come unraveled, when you least expect it. And it hurts like hell.

Here’s a link to a gofundme, for her and her family. For their daughter, who is going to grow up not remembering the face of her dad.

They all might really appreciate a free coffee in this moment, I think. I don’t think it needs to be impossibly much in order to count for something.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/support-for-shanna-love-and-mira

Photo credit goes to Audrey Harp.

Hope this finds you doing alright, this Friday.