This is the first day of spring, according to the calendars. I went outside to check and see if this seems right – it does.

Walked along the beach at Hemlock Lake & drank the closest thing I can find to Apfelschorle on this side of the Atlantic.

Appreciated the sound of waves crashing on the shore. Found a place to sit for a while and listen. Skipped rocks. Collected driftwood – as evidence for my future self that I was actually here and not dreaming.

In this weather, at this time of the day, at this time of year, I feel safe walking alone. This is a safe place to cry where nobody will hear me. There’s nothing to smoke to explain away the redness in my eyes. That’s okay.

I don’t want to try to explain why I’m crying. The easy thing, the half-honest thing, would be to blame it on whichever personality and their assorted bag of skin and bones happens to seem interesting at this time.

I think it’s something else.

Sitting in the car for a minute.

Will drive home soon, listen to the radio.

🍃

There’s this exchange between two characters that I’ve been thinking about a lot, recently. Can’t remember where it’s from –

“HOW DO YOU LOSE A WOMAN!!??“

“You forget to cherish her.”