here’s what your favorite childhood Disney movie says about you (you’re going to hate this)

If your favorite animated Disney movie growing up was the Hunchback of Notre Dame, you’ve since grown up to have some pretty serious questions about organized religion. You are fond of stone statues, and you like the sound of church bells. You always secretly think the pretty woman should have ended up with the guy with the personality instead of the blond one with the stupid heroism and the cliché good looks.

If your favorite animated Disney movie growing up was Bambie, then you’re now a vegetarian with a passion for environmental conservation and you want to work in forestry one day. You either can’t watch the news because it makes you cry or you can’t look away because otherwise you wouldn’t be doing your civic duty of knowing what’s going on so you can lace up and go wave cardboard signs at people.

If your favorite Disney movie growing up was the Lion King, then your favorite Shakespeare play is Hamlet, even if you’re not entirely sure why. You like to visit the zoo. You want to visit Africa but you couldn’t name more than like three individual counties on a map. You have never in your life looked at what words spell when you read them backwards.

If your favorite Disney movie growing up was Peter Pan, you still think twice before you close your window in the summer. You sometimes check to make sure your shadow is still attached. You can’t look at large bodies of water without thinking about mermaids. You consider belief to be a powerful mechanism for shaping reality around you. You like the orange lilys that grow along the side of the road in late summer. You’re fond of the sound of clocks ticking. You are guilty of piracy but you keep getting away with it. You think about fairies when you look up at the stars.

If your favorite Disney movie growing up was The Little Mermaid, congrats, you are now bisexual. You once tried to brush your hair with a fork. You think unrequited love is hot. Sometimes you dance when nobody’s watching. You have been caught singing under your breath at the wrong moments and for this crime you have been looked at quizzically from across the room. You sometimes visit the beach and stare wistfully at the horizon. You never did get married your best friend, who is the most oblivious person you know.

If your favorite Disney Movie growing up was Snow White, you don’t ever accept food from strangers. You could live in a house with a bunch of men who adore you platonically and be perfectly happy in the knowledge that they would do anything for you. You’re totally not racist, but also you can always find a matching shade of foundation at the drugstore. You think being kissed awake by your partner in the mornings is sweet.

If your favorite Disney movie growing up was Alice in Wonderland, you have a secret fondness for chess and mushrooms and playing cards and tea parties. You’re not on drugs right now, but you’ve thought about it. Your favorite metaphor involves rabbitholes. You would eat a random cake without knowing where it had been just because a conveniently placed label suggested it.

If you loved Sleeping Beauty, you like old brick buildings covered in ivy, brambles and undergrowth in the forest, and the ruins of castles. You value your beauty sleep. You’re still waiting for the prince to ride in from the furthest corners of the land and rescue you from your fate. An older woman in your life resents your innocent youthfulness and beauty and hates not being invited to important social gatherings. Not your fault she wasn’t on the guest list. Time for another nap.

If your favorite Disney movie growing up was Lady and the Tramp, you’re still waiting for somebody to try doing the spaghetti thing with. Either this or you have tried it and you got sauce all over yourselves.

If your favorite Disney movie growing up was Cinderella, you never stay up past midnight. You’re still wishing for a motherly older woman to swoop into your life and magically solve all of your problems. You don’t come from money but somehow you still learned how to dance. Your nickname is pumpkin. You own a nice pair of shoes. You always lose your things when you’re out in public. Men chase you, not the other way around. A man you met one (1) time at a party is still obsessed with you.

If your favorite Disney movie growing up was Fantasia then you took art history in college and like listening to classical music.

If you favored 101 Dalmatians, then you are vegan and have attended a protest about the unethical practice of wearing fur. Your pet cause is abolishing animal cruelty.

If you loved Beauty and the Beast, then you like people for what they are like on the inside, not what they look like on the outside. You’re probably a brown haired woman who loves to read. If a scruffy looking man gave you the keys to a library you would leave your beloved family to go off and live happily ever after with him. You can do a French accent. You worry you will hurt the feelings on inanimate objects. You have a particular fondness for the long stemmed rose.


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