In a saucepan with olive oil: a mirepoix of celery, onion, carrots garlic. Then slice up a potato and a roma tomato into the pan. You have to hold the vegetables in one hand over the saucepan and slice with a small knife the other – like that. Once the mirepoix is translucent or a little carmalized but Not Burnt, add a handful of uncooked brown rice and a smaller handful of dry lentils. Cover everything in vegetable broth and add a splash of vinegar. Add more salt than you think you need and some ground black pepper. Add a fuckton (unit of measurement) of spinach right at the end. Too much spinach. It’ll cook down. Drown everything in some kind of Italian spice mix.

This soup is really boring on its own, so you have to serve it with crackers. It’s also fun to add smoked gouda, parm romano, roasted sweet potato, and a garlic parm seasoning.