No matter what happens
There’s still going to be work to do.
There are still going to be things to fight for
People to stand up for
There’s you.
No matter what happens, there is still going to be an infinite collection
Of small corners of the world
Where an apparently insignificant outcome comes down, in the end
To a conversation
A judgement call
Based on the previous inculcations
Of perspective, insight, nuance, fact.
Brief flashes of understanding
Of things I hadn’t seen before
Because I didn’t know to look
These are things which, in small ways
Affect everything I do
All the actions that don’t seem like they mean very much
By themselves.

No matter what happens,
No matter which rich white man wins
There’s still going to be work to do.

One path might be worlds more heartbreaking to walk than the other,
Especially right now.
And we don’t know yet
Which path we’re going to be walking

I will walk down either path, even though
I guess I could turn my back on everything
And I guess this is technically a choice, to keep walking
Even if I have to stop and rest periodically to keep my legs from giving out
I’ll be back, on the path, when I can
Because this is a choice I decided to keep making
A long time ago.

And it helps me to remember
Even when it’s impossibly hard to remember
That I am not walking alone.

–

I wrote and published this poem for this blog on November 4th, 2020.

Four years ago I was drinking cheap whiskey, watching comedy central, perpetually doomscrolling, wanting to cry, feeling as though I was living through the beginning of the end of the world because my specific chronically online internet echo chambers kept telling me that was true. This was me trying to fight back against that hopeless feeling.

I have absolutely needed to rest

but I still haven’t turned my back on everything

I’m still walking

And I still have you.