Some days I really wish I could shut down whatever pathway it is in my mind that tends to brighten up and think, “hey, have you ever noticed that when you rearrange the letters in this totally normal everyday word or phrase which could not be more neutral in meaning, in a very specific order and with no help from context clues whatsoever, you get an entirely different word or phrase with a totally unrelated meaning that makes you want to throw up?

(See also: grapefruit.)