Home. Made the autonomous decision to have a helpful but also extremely painful medical procedure done this morning. Hurt like a son of a gun. Felt more than a little invasive and vulnerable, but the medical practitioners were respectful and kind towards me. Still in a lot of pain.

Currently being treated like a prince because I have earned that. Distracting myself with treats – iced latte, lemon danish for tomorrow, truly absurd but wonderful amount of sushi – alaska roll, salmon nigiri, kiwi king salmon roll. It’s helping.

Am curled up on the couch in sweatpants and a bathrobe, cradling a hot water bottle. The pain sharpens the mental state significantly, I think because the pain is keeping me stuck in the present moment – it’s so loud I can’t focus on my own thoughts enough to get swept up in the spirals, which has the interesting effect of helping me stay calm. But I already knew about this.

Hoping I can focus enough to read a book or watch a show. Might honestly be easier to distract myself with a podcast and a video game.

Then again the pain is making me so tired that I might be able to sleep.

Wearing moss agate earrings and listening to Maggie Rogers.