Puzzle pieces

This afternoon I got out of the house, went for a walk, and listened to a LPOTL compilation episode called “Best of Cannibalism.” You know, like just in time for Thanksgiving. It was fucking cold outside. Easier to breathe.

I ordered a copy of the Queen’s Gambit novel and knew that I wasn’t going to get around to reading it for a while, so I gave it to my dad and he and my mom were taking turns reading it to each other out loud.

Hairdye is in transit, somewhere in the Midwest.

Second order predicate logic is kind of a trip.

We are putting off German until the very last minute, however

Anyway.

Ancient Philosophy essay is – ehhh. I am slightly frightened to announce that I have not made any progress on this word count. Instead, I went back and revisited some of the things I didn’t fully understand about the prompt, and discovered that there was actually a lot more information to sift through and process. To be fair, these 2000+ yo texts make for some really dense reading material. but I think there were some key points that I hadn’t quite built brain pathways around, yet. And internalizing them really did help.

I think maybe as I’ve been writing this – I’ve been trying to put the puzzle pieces together without knowing how all of the edges were shaped. But as I, like – break these wide swaths of information down into smaller pieces, and sit with them, and look at them from different angles, and parse out pieces of meaning – it gets easier to understand how everything fits.

Inconsistent metaphoring my way through life this evening, apparently. So sorry.

It’s just that when everything fits together by itself, I’m not sitting here spending time trying to force it. Trying to bullshit your way through explaining how something makes logical sense when it doesn’t, not yet, not without a couple of key pieces of information, is genuinely stressful. It’s also a lot of work.

There are only so many ways to rearrange the pictures on the walls. Chew your food. I don’t know. 83’s are nothing to be ashamed of.

Tomorrow I’m going to sit down and write in the way that I used to write in those in-person timed exams, where they took away your phone and locked you in a room for three hours with six pieces of loose leaf paper and a blue or black ink pen. I’m going to write without worrying about spelling the the words incorrectly. I’m going to write without copy/pasting large chunks of paragraph from one end of a paper to another and backspacing up and down a line until I’ve got it sounding right.

And I’m going to do a brave thing and leave my notes in another room. Because I studied those all day today, and I have a much better idea of what I’m talking about, now.

We’re just going to put down some words.

I hope it’s a really good night.

PS

this cat – unprompted- decided to climb up on my shoulders earlier today. She then proceeded to not move when I stood up and walked into the kitchen to refill the coffee mug. This made my entire week. She used to sit on my shoulders all the time, but she was smaller then. I’m telling you this now so that you’ll know that it really happened.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *