Yesterday the queen of England died.
I’m torn between going into mourning for a true icon, thinking about the absurdity of the monarchy, and just – sitting back and enjoying all the memes.
Yesterday I began my formal training as a library intern with a high-speed orientation on everything and everyone in the library. My favorite moment was learning how to turn the pages of an antique book.
Yesterday I facilitated a discussion about altruism for future generations in philosophy club. A professor was meant to present that day, but he couldn’t be there, so he asked me to take over instead. Learned about the topic as well as I could at the last minute. Absent prof in question usually makes soup to share at the club, so
Yesterday, I made the soup! I know the recipe because I went to his house, once, and asked for it. I used the kitchen in one of the dorms. Brought ingredients and a soup pot and a wooden spoon, borrowed a knife from a friend. I have attempted that recipie about seven times with limited success, but this time I nailed it.
The discussion went exceptionally well. I tried to deflect the intellectual/emotional labor onto other people as much as possible. The art of asking strategic open ended questions will never cease to serve me well.
Yesterday I had like half of a pot of soup left over when the meeting ended after dark. I carried it back to my car and saw some classmates skateboarding, so I asked if they wanted some and they said yes, and then they taught me how to not fall off a skateboard, which was grand.
Yesterday I walked through the graveyard alone, and it was so dark and quiet and peaceful. Not spooky in the slightest. Just – decomposing people at rest.
Yesterday the Buffalo Bills won their first football game of the season. I don’t give a shit about sports, but I was walking through town after dark and the game was on in every bar, every restaurant, every shop window, it was on in the movie theater, it was on a big projected screen behind the climbing gym. When the Bills scored their first touchdown, the whole town cheered, and I could hear the sound of triumph around me in every direction. Driving in to school the next day, the last play of the game is playing on every local radio station.
I don’t give a shit about sports, not really. I have grown up surrounded by people who remained loyal to this tiny local team that was so completely horrible, so consistently lost almost every game for years, that being a Bills fan was synonymous with being a sucker for punishment or rooting for the underdog. It’s *almost* charming.
Today is a low day – emotionally, physically, mentally. Holding myself together with shoelaces. Finding that when I just tell people it’s a bad day and I’m not feeling good, they are sometimes understanding and kind.